HOPE THE HIGH ROAD.

First things first. If you haven't listened to the first single from the new Jason Isbell album, well here it is. Without going into excruciating detail, it says alot about where I am and where I am not right now. Most of y'all know my politics and my neverending devotion to all things Isbell, so I'll leave it at that.

So here I am in Antigua, Guatemala, and I am getting comfortable. Things that terrified me when I got here on November 3rd (the day after the Chicago Cubs won the World Series...because that is a thing that happened. Don't forget that), I do now. Part of it is becoming more relaxed about the Spanish language problem. I've had enough school that I can comfortably get around, but for awhile I was scared to speak, thinking I would get it wrong and people would make fun of me. That's sort of a theme in all aspects of my life, but for some reason I don't care anymore, at least about the Spanish part. If it's wrong, it's wrong, and I tried. I've found that generally people are willing to help and usually they understand well enough.

With that said, I'm venturing out of my comfort zone. The first big step was getting a Guatemalan phone. I cannot describe the terror of walking into the Claro office, taking a number, and hoping like hell I could explain to the dude that I needed a SIM card. As it turns out, it was painless. 

So now I'm thinking of moving, and the reason is completely ridiculous. Yes, it's Steve. As some of you know, he has a barking issue when I'm not here. People have stopped complaining, so maybe he's better, I don't know.  Either way, this place has paper thin walls (though they're made of stone so I dunno) and an option has become available. The little house in a compound where a friend lives is available, and I'm probably going to take it. It's a little bit out of town, but my friend has dogs for Steve to play with, so I won't feel as bad about leaving him. It'll allow me to get out more and see more of  the town that I moved to. As it is now, I'm pretty hesitant about leaving for more than 3 hours or so with Steve in his crate. 

With this comes the need for a car because it's about 15 minutes outside of town. I've wanted one for awhile because a scooter really limits you, and whomever convinced me to buy as scooter and not a car in the first place can kiss my ass. For example, there's only one grocery store in Antigua proper and it suuuucks. (why that is, I don't know) But there are some great stores outside of town in San Lucas or in Guatemala City. However, you need more than a scooter to get there and to haul your stuff back. So I'm going to look at a Jeep on Friday. Completely practical? Maybe not, but when the weather is perfect year-round and you drive on cobblestone streets, the open air and knobby tires are appealing. Downside, it's a stick...I haven't driven a stick since high school. So, maybe it's like riding a bike or maybe I'm going to make a complete fool of myself. Total crapshoot. I tried to upload an image, but apparently I'm too dumb so anyway, it's black like my heart. 

St. Patrick's Day has come and gone, and I was woefully overserved. As it turns out, the Jamey Girls

are an international phenomenon, and I totally blame them. I went to The Snug (surprise), which had opened at 6 am. 6. In the daytime. Whatever, some folks are bolder souls than I. There was Irish music, Irish people, and one Irish flutist who was about the most attractive human that I've ever laid eyes on in my 40+ years of circling the sun. As day faded to night the crowd rendered the tiny bar into a sweatbox, and I became increasingly aware that I was not fit for public, I wandered the streets of Antigua and rediscovered some of the reasons I moved here. The place is visually stunning. Central American light is different than in the States. I don't know why that is, but it is.

Semana Santa, or the leadup to it, has begun. What I thought would be sort of like Mardi Gras....is nothing like Mardi Gras. Nobody throws anything, the marching bands don't play funk and it's really reverent. Everything in bars stops when the procession comes by out of respect. Nobody's hollering "throw me something mister," there's not a moon pie in sight, and I suppose showing tits would really be frowned upon. Who knew? And there was one bro in a red Klan hat, which gave me pause. Even my British friends were like, "yeah, that's not a good look dude."

It's not bad yet, but I'm told that during the actual Holy Week, Antigua is pretty much not navigable by humans. It's apparently the largest celebration in the western hemisphere. Some of  y'all know my feelings on crowds, so it looks like I'll be stocking up on food and liquor and hunker down in the casa like some sort of survivalist in Montana. 

"Wherever you are, I hope the high road leads you home again..to a world you want to live in..." -Jason Isbell

This might be mine. 

Adios for now. 

CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME. IS THIS HOME?

Got a Guatemalan phone, so I guess that means I'm in it for the long haul. That was my intent when I came here, but my mood changes with the day. And yesterday was Mardi Gras Day, and I just wanted to go home. It didn't last; I'm over it today, but there's nothing in Antigua for Mardi Gras. At all. It's a Catholic country, so it's weird no? So I got to thinking, in this town of charitable contributions, maybe I could throw together a Mardi Gras Ball for some group. I dunno. It would be something to occupy my time. The most important thing, as everyone knows, would be finding a band that knows Wild Cherry's "Play That Funky Music." There's this old Cathedral, San Jose el Viejo, that I pass every day that I'm obsessed with. Maybe there. It looks like this.

And this...

Yeah, this town is pretty stunning. 

Anyway, it's an idea. Speaking of charity event, last week was big on that. First, there was boxing, which was a damn blast. Several local bartenders and other notables took to the ring to benefit Los Ninos Guatemala. My friend Laurie, who owns The Snug, who I have spoken about before, got involved. Then, a few days later there was mechanical bull riding at Monoloco and my friend Kike lasted the proper 8 seconds. So it was a cool week for a good cause. 

One of the weird upsides about living in Antigua is the ready availability of new release movies on CD. In the past week, I've watched LaLa Land and Moonlight 

and apparently neither are available in the States. Oh, that they're 10Q, which is about $1.50. So kinda cool. I feel bad about buying bootleg art sometimes, but we don't have a theater here (in a town of 40,000 people, which is odd but Guatemala so who knows), and I don't have a car to go to Guate City, so we do what we can. And really, 10Q is a boatload of money for the kids who sell them on the street. I worried that the quality would suck but so far, they've all been perfect. So, score.
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Semana Santa has begun. It's a very big deal here. Similar to Mardi Gras from all accounts but I think they take the Jesus part alot more seriously. One of the things I'm most excited about seeing during Semana Santa are the alfombras. Alfombras are these "rugs" that are made from all natural materials, dyed sawdust, fruits and vegetables etc. They're all over town until a parade comes through it and poof, it is destroyed, just like that.

The parades here are different than what we're used to also. You know how the floats are hauled by jeeps or trucks in Mobile and New Orleans. We're pussies. 

So I'm excited about it. But apparently in brings in hundreds of thousands of folks into town and me, I'm not about a crowd, so I'll probably go into town and check it out for a day or two then ride it out here at the house with Steve. Because I'm sure there will be fireworks. There are always fireworks in this damn town, and nothing scares Steve more. SPEAKING OF STEVE: he may have stopped howling in his crate when I leave. But then, I'm gone, so who really knows? But, I load up his Kong with food and cream cheese and slather a rawhide with peanut butter, and it occupies him. He used to bark as soon as I leave the house but now he doesn't. So progress? We'll see. 

That's the end of this session, my good people. As always, y'all stay cool and you are missed. Come see me, why don'tcha?